The following post is from Iris Yuan, an Education Consultant at Tutorspree.com, a marketplace for high-quality tutors across the country. Tutors at Tutorspree.com are highly-educated, experienced people who love what they’re doing. For more information, follow @Tutorspree on Twitter or e-mail iris@tutorspree.com. 

Helping children have fun does not mean they can’t be engaged, participating, and learning about the world around them. Below, we share tips and quotes from experienced tutors who’ve worked with children over the summer.

Juliette, a Spanish tutor in New York, says cooking is a great way to both learn and have fun. “Stash your children in the kitchen. Make up some at home cooking projects. There are many cookbooks out there that have recipes appropriate for children to help with and suited to their tastes as well.

Not only does cooking teach a life-long skill, it teaches children how to follow directions, be patient, organized, and clean up after themselves. It also makes children feel great to see that they can create something delicious! Furthermore, if children ever express being dissatisfied with the meals you prepare them, you can remind them about all that goes into creating a meal for a family. In order to make this type of project into a full day’s activity, first let your children make a list of necessary ingredients for the chosen recipe, then go to the market together with the children, and have them help you collect the groceries. This may even be a good opportunity to teach about prices and how to select what’s best.”

Another tip to getting young children interested in learning is to take library and museum trips together.

Many museums have kid-friendly areas with interactive activities. Your child may naturally be drawn to a certain area or subject, which you can build on later in the summer. Meanwhile, most libraries hold story times that are age-appropriate. When you’re at the library, be sure to show interest in the books yourself. Find a corner for quiet reading time and read to them, but also read to yourself, so that your child can learn by example.

Suzie, an experienced English tutor on the East Coast, tells us that “reading is easy. It’s portable. And maybe best of all, it’s subtle, sneaky learning. You learn while you aren’t even aware of it. Not only can it be a diversion on the beach, an alternative to “Boring! Not that again!?” TV, or a mental vacation on a hot afternoon, but reading also exposes new vocabulary, offers a variety of sentence structures, and painlessly proffers a proliferation of punctuation. All this without tests, worksheets, or quizzes.”

Finally, if learning school-related material is what you’re looking for, try in-home tutoring and teach some material yourself (but keep it fun!).

Aaron, a past Teach for America corps member, has been teaching for over ten years. He suggests that a great way to help children learn better is by using “positive sandwiches” when giving criticism. This means giving praise first before mentioning areas of improvement, and following up with another positive comment. “When feedback is ‘sandwiched’ between positive comments, problematic reactions are less likely,” says Aaron. “Learning doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. I also use funky colored pens or paper, stickers, jokes, and laughter in my lessons.”

Summertime alternatives to TV and video games are vast and many. Taking children out on trips, such as those mentioned above, and livening up the household with cooking and reading are just some of the ways to keep the summer brain drain at bay.

In an article by psychotherapist, Katie Hurley, she writes that children are not born bullies; bullies are something they become.

Ms Hurley believes that bullying is a learned behavior that is used in response to stress.  Bullying is an attempt to gain superiority or control over another.

She states that while some studies indicate that some bullies have naturally aggressive and/or hyperactive personalities from the start; that should not be taken to mean that all “spirited” kids will bully while all kids who are mellow or laid back will not become bullies.

Her premise is that bullies have immature social skills. They see threats where there are none and identify other kids as hostile when they are not.  Bullies lack compassion and empathy. They have difficulty understanding how others feel.

Ms. Hurley states in her article that while it is hard to find compassion for a bully, it can be useful, however, to understand some of the reasons why kids become bullies:

1. Strained parental relationships.  Bullies often lack warm, caring, and involved parents.  Parents of bullies tend to be highly competitive and place unreasonable demands on their children to be superior to other kids (academically, socially, athletically, etc.).  These parents often have prejudices based on race, sex, wealth, and achievements.  They teach their children to compete at all costs, and to win by whatever means.

2.  Inconsistent discipline.  Bullies often lack consistent discipline at home.  Their parents tend to have difficulty setting limits and/or struggle to hold them accountable for their behavior.

3. Poor academic performance.  Some kids bully in response to academic stress.  When they struggle in the classroom and feel that they are not being helped, they may begin to lose hope.  When hope is lost, children act out.  This can translate to bullies seeking “revenge” on the higher achieving kids.

4. Unsupportive peer networks.  Children who are isolated and feel disliked or unsupported by peers often turn to bullying to gain some social control.  Their distorted thinking causes them to believe that controlling other kids = having friends.

5. Child abuse.  There is ample evidence that children who are physically abused by their parents turn around and bully other kids.  Abuse is cyclical.

6.  Victims of bullies.  Many bullies have actually been victims of bullies at another time.  Due to lack of support, poor social skills, and relying on learned behaviors, these kids use bullying behaviors to try to gain superiority and control so that they will no longer be victimized.

7. Low self-esteem.  When you add up all of the possibilities, it should come as no surprise that bullies tend to struggle with self-esteem.

There are steps to take to avoid raising bullies. Below are a few tips to work on building positive relationships:

• Praise your children often.  Praise their big accomplishments as well as the little things that make them great every day.
• Listen when they need to be heard.
• Help them problem solve.
• Encourage positive peer relationships.
• Build positive sibling relationships.  Avoid comparisons, as this breeds unhealthy competition among siblings.
• Set limits and hold them accountable for their behavior.
• Teach empathy every day.
• Carve out special time with each child and spend that time doing something that you both enjoy.
• Talk often, even when you think they are not listening.
• Stay calm; model appropriate conflict resolution skills.
• Decrease exposure to violent TV, movie, and video content.
• Be present.

Ms Hurley finishes her article on an up note, reminding the reader, again, that bullies are not born; bullies are raised. 

She states that we all have the opportunity to raise children who will choose to be empathic, kind, and loyal friends.  All we have to do is teach them those skills.

Katie Hurley blogs at Practical Parenting.

The following message about bullying comes from Nicholas Garlow with HealthBeat, a production of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Bullying can be verbal, like name calling, social, to affect reputations and relationships, or even physical, which hurts someone or their possessions. It can happen anywhere, and to anyone.

We can help kids understand bullying by talking to them about it and teaching them how to stand up to it safely.

Erin Reiney, a public health specialist at the Health Resources and Services Administration says, “If a youth is being bullied, we really need to encourage him or her to talk to a trusted adult and not keep feelings insides. It’s important for a youth to tell somebody about the bullying in order to feel less alone.”

Children, parents, educators, and communities can learn how to take action against bullying and prevent it from happening by going to stopbullying.gov.

Learn more at healthfinder.gov.

From time to time our readers write and offer to share their knowledge and ideas in a guest post.

Today’s post is from Flashlight Press, an independent publisher of children’s picture books.

Flashlight Press is sharing free printable activities for each of their book titles. Just go to their URL at:

http://www.flashlightpress.com/Activity_Guides.html >

 An invitation…If you want to share with readers by submitting a guest post, please know that:

• We accept posts about a particular subject of interest to parents or teachers of children 3-7 years of age
• We accept a post that gives access to a free product , such as the downloads above, if suitable for the same age group

We do not accept straight advertising, sales or promotional materials, etc. If someone has a new book out and wants to include that in their brief bio accompanying the article, that is acceptable .

A guest post needs to be between 500 and 750 words. We reserve the right not to publish posts that we feel are not appropriate for our readers due to content.

If you are interested in submitting a guest post for this blog or the children’s blog, please send it to jeanc@candostreet.com.

I look forward to hearing from you!

From time to time, “Can Do” Street features a guest post by someone who provides a service or product that might be of interest to parents and teachers of children 3-7 years of age.

We do not endorse or recommend, we just share information.

We welcome guest posts from parents, teachers and professionals who work with young children and their families. We also will feature guest posts from book companies and others wanting to provide sample products at no cost to our readers.

The following guest share is by Sara Dawkins, an active nanny as well as an active freelance writer. She is a frequent contributor of nanny service. She can be reached at saradawkins61ATgmail.com.

How to Teach the Importance of Sharing

It’s always a big debate when you’re trying to decide if you’re going to hire a nanny to watch over your child or if you’re going to place them in a daycare setting. Each option has distinct advantages and disadvantages, especially the different character traits your child will learn.

Having a nanny watch your children gives parents more flexibility with work schedules and a certain piece of mind knowing that your child isn’t being exposed to different illnesses and bad behavior.

However being a nanny you realize quickly that because the child you’re watching isn’t surrounded by other kids their age that it’s important to teach them as soon as possible how important the act of sharing is.

The trick to teaching kids how to share is to make it fun!

1. Share constantly

Get out two different toys and give one to the child and keep the other one for yourself. After playing with them for a little while ask if they want to play with the one you have.

If you go out for ice cream get a different flavor than they do and then ask if they want to try a bite of yours. Go out of your way to share with them whenever you can so that they learn that this is good behavior to mimic.

2. Express appreciation

Whenever the child swaps a toy with you express gratitude for their selfless sharing, even if you prompted them to share something. Getting them to understand how rewarding it is to share things with other people will help them want to continue to share.

3. Compliment frequently

Anytime they share something with you, even if it’s only a story or they just want to show you what they have, compliment them on their wonderful ability to share. Try to use the word “share” somewhere in the compliment so that they associate the behavior with the act of sharing.

As soon as their parents get home each night compliment the child’s sharing to them also. Reinforce good behavior as often as possible.

4. Donate old toys

Coordinate with the parents a day that you can take them to donate old toys. As they begin to outgrow certain toys or books start collecting them and then take the kids to a place that accepts donations. Having them go with you will give you a chance to show them that their old toys will become someone’s new toys. You can talk to them about how other kids may not be as fortunate as they are, and explain to them how they’re helping these children by sharing their stuff.

5. Pick certain toys to share

When friends are coming over to play let the child pick out a few toys that they can put away and then let them know that all of their other toys have to be shared with friends. This will help them feel like they’re not giving up everything to others.

Being in a role model position gives the perfect opportunity to teach young children the act of sharing. The younger you start teaching kids about sharing, the better, and it’s important for parents and nannies to work together as a team to teach the children about sharing.