The following guest post, “Losing is Necessary,” is from Coach Ned Campbell, head wrestling coach at James Madison High School, NYC, where he also teaches American history. http://madisongoldenknightswrestling.com/coaching-staff/

A little boy was asked how he learned to skate. ‘By getting up every time I fell down,’ he answered. (David Seabury)

Every year I find myself talking to a complete stranger about losing. Not just one stranger, but dozens of strangers. This is the life a high school wrestling coach, recruiting kids to make a choice to take a chance, at the expense of having to lose in order to get better. Not an easy sell.

The average 14 year old does not have the long view of life, that ability to see themselves way off into the future. Without that perspective, there is no up-side to losing. That means kids can give up quickly, or in some cases, not even try.

Losing can make one realize they have things to learn, to improve upon. Knowing what you do not yet know, what you, as of yet, cannot do, that sets the stage for self-improvement. It is the early stimulus to further develop a work ethic.

In a typical conversation with a freshmen, and I am approaching the little guys, the kids weighing less than 100 pounds, typically the kid chosen last, or maybe never chosen, for a team, the issue of “what if I lose?” comes up. I try to lighten the mood by jokingly telling him, “It is not ‘if you are going to lose,’ because you are going to lose, no doubt about that.” Everybody does when they start out. I tell them all I did my first year of wrestling in high school was lose. I didn’t start winning until my second year of wrestling.

I go on to tell him he will have some tough days, but those are the days that make us stronger, and better. Those are the days that teach us lessons, and motivate us to work harder and do more. The memory of those bad days are also what makes the good days you will have all the more sweeter.

Once the season begins, and the losing happens, the young athlete may begin to doubt himself. With a shaken confidence, they are likely to start acting more discouraged, and their resolve to keep trying may begin to wane and weaken. It is at this time when we, the coach and the parents, have to step in and help them stay strong, and to persevere. We can remind them of the long haul, but we must also focus on the positive accomplishments, and areas where there is improvement. However small it may be, improvement is a positive good and deserves to be talked up and commended.

One example I have of this took place just this past season. A freshmen and 1st year wrestler was having a difficult time. He was not wrestling much, and when he did get a chance, he lost quickly. He was looking dejected and I took a moment to speak with him. I asked him if he remembered his first week of practices, how he could not do the push-ups, keep up on the run, and how sore he was the day after practice. He said yes, and then I reminded him how today he was doing the push-ups, and keeping up on the runs. I let him know he had already lost almost 20 pounds, while getting stronger. As a smile started to creep across his face, I saw that he got it. He got the idea of the long haul of work paying off, over time. He could see the progress and make the link to his hard work all season. He liked it.

His improvement over time was not only limited to his physicality. He has opened up more among his peer group. He is walking taller, smiles more quickly, and is improving academically with much better grades than the prior term.

Life is not always easy. There will be some tough times, but that doesn’t mean life is complicated. Believing that “If you fall down, you get back up,” may not be easy, but with the support of positive adults, it can be quite simple, and it can make all the difference in the world.

For more on what you can do to help the young athletes in your life, please visit the Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA): a national non-profit with the mission to provide all youth and high school athletes a positive, character-building youth sports experience. http://www.positivecoach.org/our-tools/tools-for-parents/

The following message about bullying comes from Nicholas Garlow with HealthBeat, a production of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Bullying can be verbal, like name calling, social, to affect reputations and relationships, or even physical, which hurts someone or their possessions. It can happen anywhere, and to anyone.

We can help kids understand bullying by talking to them about it and teaching them how to stand up to it safely.

Erin Reiney, a public health specialist at the Health Resources and Services Administration says, “If a youth is being bullied, we really need to encourage him or her to talk to a trusted adult and not keep feelings insides. It’s important for a youth to tell somebody about the bullying in order to feel less alone.”

Children, parents, educators, and communities can learn how to take action against bullying and prevent it from happening by going to stopbullying.gov.

Learn more at healthfinder.gov.

The following guest post is from Heather Smith, a former nanny. Passionate about thought, leadership and writing, Heather regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting blogs/websites. She also provides value to hire a nanny by giving advice on site design as well as the features and functionality to provide more and more value to nannies and families across the U.S. and Canada. She can be available at H.smith7295 [at] gmail.com.

The truly defining characteristic of a classic book is how well it stands the test of time. Over the years there will be hundreds of thousands of children’s books written that will be read, loved, and then forgotten in lieu of the next hit book.

It takes a truly great book whose message spans the ages to be passed on from generation to generation, all because people fall in love with everything about it. These five books are books have withstood this test and deserve a place on your children’s book shelves:

Where the Wild Things Are

Children have loved this book since it first debuted in 1963, and continue to love it today. While it appeals to the younger generation because of its magical references and mythical monsters that jump across the pages, it also has an inherently deeper message as it explores the depth of anger and a young boy’s reaction to it. It’s a book that has transcended the years because of its universal message, and will hopefully continue to intrigue younger audiences as the years pass.

The Story of Ferdinand

When it first hit the shelves in 1936 this book was viewed as quite the controversy because people thought it was a pacifist book. However the underlying message that it sends is one that applies in every decade despite what social or political controversy is plaguing us. The storyline follows a young bull who is more interested in flowers than bull-fighting, no matter how hard others try to make him conform. It’s a good reminder that everyone is different, and our individuality should be celebrated not moderated

 Where the Sidewalk Ends

A bit different than the traditional stories, Where the Sidewalk Ends is a collection of poetry that was written in 1974. The poems tackle deep-seated childhood issues in addition to being purely fanciful, giving a nice mix of sage advice and fluffy nonsense. In addition, entertaining cartoon drawings accompany the poetry, making it a fun picture book for children to flip through

The Little Prince

Originally written in French as Le Petit Prince, this book has become one of the most popular books ever written.

Much like the other books on this list, while the storyline appeals to the younger generations it also drives home a message towards much deeper issues about all aspects of life. The book follows an adventure between a young boy and a young prince, and is an enthralling read for people of all ages.

 Alice in Wonderland

This story has been adapted so many times in so many different ways that reading the original is a must. Written in 1865, it depicts a young girl’s adventures in Wonderland after she falls down the rabbit hole. There have been many interpretations of the overall message of the book, but one thing is certain: it’s a wonderful book that will have everyone entertained.

Only a handful of books can make the jump from generation to generation, and these books have solidly done so. Each sends a unique and powerful message, and just as many of us loved these stories growing up, so will our kids, and likely their kids as well.

Findings from a recent study, available on line in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, point out that nearly half of our preschool children are not getting enough daily outdoor play.

Researchers conducted a study that analyzed data previously collected in a long-term U.S. study that highlights something already know from other studies-girls have fewer opportunities for outdoor play than boys.

The research team looked at statistics on the outdoor-activity routines of 8,950 children born in 2001 who were tracked through enrollment in kindergarten. The data were deemed to be nationally representative, reflecting the behavior of an estimated 4 million kids.

Researchers interviewed each child’s mother on the frequency and kind of outdoor play experience her child had at 9 months, 2 years and 4 years, and then again once enrolled in kindergarten.

Researchers found that 51 percent of the kids had a daily routine of parent-supervised outdoor play. Girls got less daily outdoor exercise.

According to findings, race was a factor. Children from white families got substantially more outdoor play than children with Asian, black or Hispanic mothers. Asian mothers were 49 percent less likely to take their children outdoors for play, black mothers were 41 percent less likely and Hispanic mothers were 20 percent less likely.

TV viewing habits of children, mothers’ marital status, neighborhood safety issues, or family income levels did not affect findings.

The study authors report that the American Academy of Pediatrics asks doctors take a proactive role in encouraging routine physical activity among kids, particularly outdoor activity, which can be critical to helping children develop motor skills, as well as promoting vision and mental acuity.

“I want to encourage parents to talk to all their child’s caregivers, and to ask about their outdoor playtime experience in the same way they would normally ask about how much their child ate that day and what they learned,” said Pooja Tandon, M.D., M.P.H., pediatrician and researcher, Seattle Children’s Research Institute, and acting assistant professor, department of pediatrics, University of Washington, Seattle, the lead researcher of the study.

Rahil Briggs, a child psychologist with Children’s Hospital at Montefiore, in New York City, agreed that “There’s a very real need for growing children to have outdoor play.”

“Unfortunately, I’m not too surprised with these findings, because of what we already know about the obesity epidemic in this country and all the sedentary activities our children are partaking in with the use of video games, TV, the iPad and all of that,” she said.

“Parents need to change their thinking about outdoor play as a luxury that they can get in for their kids on a Saturday, to something along the lines of a necessity. Many preschoolers are not getting daily outdoor activities,” Briggs said. “We need to know that it has an important impact on our children’s physical health and also on their behavioral development.”

(SOURCES: Pooja Tandon, M.D., M.P.H., pediatrician and researcher, Seattle Children’s Research Institute, and acting assistant professor, department of pediatrics, University of Washington, Seattle; Rahil Briggs, Psy.D., child psychologist, Children’s Hospital at Montefiore, New York City; April 2, 2012, Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine online)

The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics recently came out with a “Get Your Plate in Shape” Campaign for 2012 National Nutrition Month.

Here are their tips from the campaign to shape your plate:

• Think about what you are putting on your plate.
• Make half your plate fruits and vegetables.
• Choose “reduced sodium” or “no salt added” canned vegetables.
• Make at least half your grains whole grains.
• Switch to fat free or low fat dairy products.
• Eat a variety of proteins such as sea food, nuts, beans, lean meat, poultry and eggs
• Cut back on sodium, solid fats and sugary drinks.
• Enjoy your foods but eat less.
• Be conscious of calories.
• Use a smaller, plate bowl and glass.
• When eating out, choose lower calorie options.
• Write down what you eat and keep track of what you eat.

For more eating tips, go to www.eatright.org

In addition to watching what you put on your plate, the Academy offers the following exercise guidelines:

• Children and teens need to get 60 or more minutes a day of physical activities.
• Adults need two hours and thirty minutes a week of activity that requires moderate effort such as brisk walking.