Archive for the ‘responsibility’ Category

Take Responsibility for Your Actions

Wednesday, May 18th, 2016

responsibility Coach Campbell, Bobby and his sister, Kathy, and some other “Can Dos” are at the “Can Do” Center, working in the storage room, getting out the volleyballs and net to use in the summer camp.

 “OK now guys, let’s pay attention. Be careful, this is not that big a room and we have a lot of stuff to get out.”

 Suddenly, Coach Campbell hears a Can Do kid yell, “OUCH – Hey that hurt!” and then “Yeah, well it’s not my fault!!”

 Kathy comes up to Coach Campbell and lets him know that Bobby hit her, for no reason, just hit her with his fist.

 Coach Campbell takes Bobby aside to talk to him in private about what just happened.responsibility

 Before he can even ask the first question, Bobby says, “It is not my fault, I got mad and when I get mad, well, I just lose it. That’s just the way it is.”

 Really? asks Coach Campbell. Nothing you can do about it, huh?

 “Nope -nothing.”

 OK, let me ask you some questions then, and maybe we can get you to see this a bit differently. OK? Given that I was standing as close to you as I was, why did you hit her, and not me? I was there, and you just had to hit something, why not me?

 “You are big, and would probably crush me if I hit you.”

 So then, you chose to hit Kathy and not me. Right?

 “Yeah.”

 So if you can make a decision, make a choice, then you really have not lost control, have you?

 “I guess not.”

 That’s right. You hit her because you could, because you though you could get away with it. That was a decision you made and that means you are responsible for hitting her.  Now, let me ask you another question. What if, just imagine, what if, I got mad and decided to haul off and hit you. Would that be OK, because, you know, I was mad.

 ’NO! No way Coach!”

 Well, why not?

 “Well, you are bigger than me, and stronger, it would hurt a lot.”

 That’s why you wouldn’t WANT me to hit you…but I asked you if it would be OK to hit you, because – like you said – I was mad.

 “No, it would not be OK for you to hit me.”

 Well, if it isn’t OK for me to hit you, then how can it be OK for you to hit Kathy… right?

 “Yeah, you’re right. What is wrong is wrong.”

 So, now what are you going to do?

 “I am going to say I am sorry to Kathy and tell her I will never do it again.

 We all get mad at times. But, hitting someone is not the way to deal with it. Most of the time, the anger can pass over quickly, other times you need to talk things out, but getting violent is not going to help. If you do get violent, remember – that was your choice and you have to take responsibility for it.

 

responsibility Story by: Ned Campbell, a coach and teacher in Brooklyn, NY.  He is the voice of  Coach Campbell in the “Can Do” Street programs.

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The Vase

Thursday, February 28th, 2013

Grandma Maureen had a special vase that she kept on a table in the hallway that lead from the living room to the bedroom. It was her mother’s. She loved that vase. it reminded her of her mother. Every few days she put fresh flowers in the vase.

Arthur J and Bobby were pushing each other as they went down the hall. They bumped into the table with the vase on it. Before either one of them could catch the vase, it fell to the floor and broke in too many pieces to ever be glued back together again.

For a minute Arthur J and Bobby just stared at the broken vase on the floor. They couldn’t believe what they had done. Then they looked at each other and Bobby said, ” What do we do? Grandma loves this vase. We can’t buy her a new one, it came from her mother. She is going to be so mad at us!”

Arthur J answered,”I know, we can say the dog did it. He ran by the table, very fast and his tail was wagging so fast it knocked the vase over.”

Bobby thought for a moment. He wasn’t so vasesure that lying about it was such a good idea. Grandma could always tell when they were lying. Besides, he liked the dog and didn’t want to get him in trouble.

Just then, grandma came down the hall and saw the vase broken on the floor. ” Oh, no,” she said, ” Not my mother’s vase!”

Before Bobby could say anything. Arthur J said, “The dog did it, grandma. He broke your vase.”

Grandma Maureen looked at Arthur J and said,”It is bad enough that you broke my vase, but now you are not telling me the truth about how it got broken. The dog isn’t even here. He is outside, where he has been for the past hour.”

Then grandma said, “Let’s go in the living room and sit down and talk about this.” When they sat down, grandma said,”Accidents happen, but blaming others, especially a pet that cannot defend himself is wrong.  Blaming the dog for my vase is telling a lie and no good comes of lying. At first, you may think it is an easy way to avoid being punished for doing something, but a lie often makes things harder for us as we keep telling it. Please tell me what really happened to my vase.

So that is what they did. Arthur J and Bobby told Grandma Maureen what happened. They said that were sorry and asked what they could do to make up for breaking the vase. Then Arthur J apologized for lying to his grandma and promised not to do it again.

Grandma hugged them both and reminded them it is always better to tell the truth. She told then they could make up for breaking the vase by helping her around the house for the rest of the day. Arthur J and Bobby were all to happy to help. They really felt bad about breaking her favorite vase.

vaseThen Arthur J got up and started for the back door. Grandma Maureen called after him, asking where he was going.

Arthur J answered,”I’m going to apologize to the dog for blaming him.”

Grandma smiled and said,”Do you think he will understand you?”Arthur J answered,” No , but I’ll feel better for saying I’m sorry.”

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Coach Campbell’s New Puppy

Tuesday, September 25th, 2012

Willie, Hector and Bobby were walking to school when they saw Coach Campbell walking not to far ahead of them. They ran up to him and asked, “How was your summer, Coach?”

coachCoach answered, “Well guys, some of you have heard me talk about my dog, Sergeant Buckshot, from time to time. Some of you have even seen me walking him around the neighborhood. Well, Buck was, as you all know, pretty old. Getting around was getting hard for him, and he was waking up feeling tired. Then one day, well, he had to move on.

 Now, that really hurt a lot, to see him go, he was a great friend for twelve years, but – it was his time.”

Hector asked,”Will you get another dog Coach?”

 “Well now,  Hector, I already did,” said Coach. “I got a puppy. He is a little bit younger than Buckshot was when I got him.”

   “A PUPPY!” shouted  Willie. “How old, can we see him?”

coach“Delmar, that’s his name, is just over 4 months old now. He is still very young, excitable, and interested in just about everything. Lots of energy! When he gets a bit older, and has some more of his vaccines, I will bring him by to meet all of you,” answered Coach.

“YAY!” said Bobby. “How did you find him? What kind of dog is he?”

Coach answered,”He is a lab-shepherd mix, and how I got him, well now, that’s a good story.

 You see, it was almost Labor Day weekend, and I was going to be up-State at a lake-house for the long weekend. Now – and this is important – I had only ever been there with Buckshot, so to be there all alone, without a dog, I just couldn’t do that. So, I started looking for rescue shelters near where I would be staying for the weekend.”

Willie interrupted, saying,  “What’s a rescue shelter?”

 Coach continued, “A rescue shelter is a place where really nice people try to find homes for lost puppies and dogs. It is where dogs get a second chance at a “forever home.”

 So, after doing some research in the Internet, I found Delmar – only then, he was being called Ricki. Well, as soon as I read Ricki’s story, of how he was left – along with his brothers and sisters – in a cardboard box, and he was the only one left, not yet adopted, and still waiting for his forever home … well, I just knew he was the one.

 You see, my first dog as a boy, when I was in the 6th grade, was in a cardboard box outside of a grocery store when I first met him. Schultz was my first dog, my dog as a boy growing up.

Then, a long time after that, when I was all grown up, I met Buckshot. He was only five months old then, with the same spots on his body that Schultz had. He was the last in his litter, waiting to be rescued. Then, he walked on over to me, sat down and put his head on my lap. I knew right then, he was with me from now on.

 So, you see, Delmar was like Schultz, found in a cardboard box. He was also like Buckshot, the last one waiting, after all of his brothers and sisters had been adopted. There was so much in common with the dogs I knew and cared for, that I called up the rescue shelter right away. A few hours later, I was talking to Ricki’s foster mom, and making plans to meet him the next day.

 The next day was September 1st, and I have started my day, every day since, with Delmar.”

 Hector wanted to know, “How early do you have to get up with him? How many walks a day does he need? Can I walk him?” “Yeah, me too, can I?” said Willie.

 “Well, remember, said, coach, “He is still a bit too young to come by for a visit. Now, the truth is, having a puppy is a ton work, and a long day. They need to go outside every 3-4 hours at his age. That is a lot of walks!

 The first walk of the day is at 5:30 in the morning. How many of you are up that early? (no hands raised) Huh, not that many I see.

 Since I am at school during the day, I have a dog walker come by to take Delmar out for nice, long walks at 9 AM, 1 PM, and again at 4 PM. I get home at around 6 PM, and the first thing I do is take Delmar out for a walk. There are two more after that, the last one being at 10 PM.”

The boys looked thoughtful, then Bobby said, “Wow, that is a lot of walks.”

“Yup, sure is,” said Coach.

Does he have a lot of toys? Yeah, can we bring him a bone? the boys wanted to know.

 Coach laughed saying, “Oh boy, you bet he’s got toys. Puppies love to play, and need lots of different toys to keep them busy.

 His favorite is a big, knotted rope toy. That, and a stuffed hedgehog. Bones, though, not the best thing for a young puppy’s tummy. See, puppies don’t know when to stop eating, so you have to be careful with what you give them, and how much. Bones from the dinner table are really not good for a puppy, and chicken bones are a “no-no” for all dogs, of all ages. ”

  “Wow, OK Coach. So, you don’t miss Buckshot anymore?” Willie stopped talking waiting for Coach’s answer.

“Oh Willie, I will always remember Buckshot. I can never forget him. After losing him, I was very sad and lonely, and I did not want to only remember Buckshot, and feel sad. Plus, he was a rescue dog who lived a good life, and I am sure he would want me to give another good life to the next dog that came along needing to be rescued. In fact, I am sure Buckshot is resting in peace, now that he knows I am no longer sad and lonely. Delmar is making me laugh, and staying close.”

“So, I know we can’t meet Delmar yet, but can we see some pictures?” Willie had asked the question that all three boys wanted to know.

Coach smiled and said,You bet.”

Story by: Ned M. Campbell (Coach Campbell)

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